Unpopular Opinion: I’m Pretty Pumped That Andrew Benintendi Cut His Hair

cutSo this weekend is the annual “Red Sox Winter Weekend” at Foxwoods where all the players show up and pretty much hang with fans and have some sort of pep-rally thing. I don’t know, I’ve never been and don’t really plan on it. But the weekend came with big news, just as it does almost every year.

The big splash of the Red Sox offseason was Andrew Benintendi’s new haircut. Boyyyyyyyy, was it fresh. And guess what? I’m about to unleash an unpopular opinion right in your eyeball…

I love that Benny Biceps cut his mane. Not only does he just look better (short hair is for men and even though his name is Benny and he’s kinda short, he’s got a big swing that is most certainly not that of a boy) but he also helped us get rid of all the annoying #FlowBros tweets and instagrams of him and Brock Holt. Maybe now that he serves no purpose, we can get rid of Holt and stop pretending he’s good. (Also, lumping Benny’s locks in with Holt’s gross head whiskers, yes I said head whiskers, was a crime)

Now we don’t have to deal with another dumb piece of the fun, happy-go-lucky, we’ll make the postseason and try our best, Red Sox anymore. Let’s get serious and go toe to toe with the bad guys. No more dancing in the outfield, no more gimmicky bullshit. Just go out there and mash. Do I sound a little ridiculous making a big deal about Benintendi’s hair and being a no-fun-nancy? Maybe, but I’m frustrated with the way the Red Sox are and the way a lot of the fans are. They act like everything is fantastic and they’d rather focus on the stupid shit than the score.

I just grew to hate Benintendi’s hair because it became one of the many dumb things Red Sox fans would incessantly tweet about until the team caught on and made it a thing. He looks better now, stop with the hashtags and meme’s and let’s go upgrade the team. Shit, Winter Weekend must be a drag this year.

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