Super Bowl Sunday is almost here and you know what that means! Yep, it means sitting on your couch surrounded by family and friends while you watch every commercial like a psycho, engorge yourself with food and drift into a drunk stupor where you start saying random phrases at the television before browning out and maybe crying a little bit (when your team wins. trust me it’s cool if you drunkenly cry about sports).
It also involves a HEAVY dose of gambling. And honestly, it’s not just you who is invested in these random props because the whole family gets into it and you find yourself forking over money to your grandmother at the end of the night.
So honestly, the prop bets are something every one can get in on. They are really dumb fun because I’ll bet them and then kinda forget to look for them during the game but whatever. Here are the ones that are notable for one reason or another.
How long will Pink sing the National Anthem for? O/U 2 minutes: OVER
I’m going with the over because going with the under on the anthem is the most un-American thing you can do. Also, I just feel like Pink is one of those people to hold a note for a longassss time.
What color hair will Pink have? GREEN
I’m pretty sure she is currently rocking the blonde/white look and that’s why that is the favorite. I actually don’t hate the odds on her coming out with green hair. She’s an Eagles fan and maybe she decides to go all in.
Will Pink wear Eagles gear? YES
I think this is a lock. She’s definitely going to wear some sort of Eagles gear but I’d bet it’s a t-shirt or jersey.
Will there be a scoring drive that takes less time than the Anthem? NO
This is an exciting one because I love big rooting for big plays or turnovers. However, I don’t think there will be any pick 6’s or fumbles returned for touchdowns. Philly will take their time with the ball and the Pats, though they could definitely do it, will get up early and try to milk it a little bit.
What will the coin toss result be? HEADS
I would usually go with the “tails never fails” theory, but on Media Knight Brady said you have to go heads “always.” Good enough for me.
What color will Belichick be wearing at the beginning of the game? BLUE
I almost view this one as a lock as well. I’d normally say blue and gray are 50/50 but with the Pats wearing white, he’ll want to stand out a little more to them. He’s gonna rock the blue windbreaker.
Who will score the first TD? Dion Lewis
There has been a lot made about how the Patriots never can score in the first quarter of Super Bowls. I think that ends this week with a Dion Lewis TD.
Tom Brady rushing yards O/U 3: OVER
This is my favorite bet because I know this one will be exciting. It seems like Tom finds a hole every now and then in the Super Bowl and goes for a decent sized gain. But he also might get sacked a few times and he might be kneeling at the end of the game. I’m taking the over because I want to go crazy when that clydesdale breaks free.
Carson Wentz mentioned on the broadcast O/U 3.5: UNDER
We know the NFL is obsessed with Wentz and that clown Collinsworth will probably talk about how he would have had the Eagles in the game if they had their starting QB. They’ll also talk about him in regards to the MVP award and then once when they lament him not being able to play towards the end of a Patriots win. It’ll be three times exactly.
Clips from Super Bowl 39 shown during the broadcast O/U 2.5: OVER
The NFL loves to get nostalgic.
Will someone mention the words “wardrobe malfunction?” YES
Yes. Al Michaels.
What will be Justin Timberlakes first song during the halftime show? ROCK YOUR BODY
I honestly believe this is the hardest bet of all. The options listed are Can’t Stop the Feeling, SexyBack, Mirrors, Suit and Tie, Rock Your Body, Purple Rain and the field. I honestly thought about this for a while and listened to each one. While Can’t Stop the Feeling is the most recent hit and very upbeat, that’s a song that comes on in the middle of the performance. He builds to that. Purple Rain is one he maybe does but definitely not first. I’m going to go with Rock Your Body even though I have very little confidence in that pick.
I just don’t like any of the other bets and I feel like if he came out with the song that got him and Janet Jackson booted from the halftime show for like 15 years, people would love it. (Sidenote, I need Janet Jackson out there too but that will not happen.)
Who will have more receiving yards, Cooks and Amendola or Gronk and Hogan? Cooks and ‘Dola
Tough to pick because Cooks and Hogan are both guys that could be hit for a deep ball but Gronk and Amendola will be targeted a lot. I’m leaning on Amendola and betting on a Cooks hookup with Brady.
Nick Foles interceptions O/U 1.5: UNDER
I’m in for Foles throwing a pick and probably fumbling but that’s it.
More rush yards Dion Lewis or James White and Rex Burkehead? Lewis
There won’t be a TON of running from the Pats in this game, but when there is it’ll be all Lewis. White and Rex will take their places in the passing game.
Will a player flap his arms like an Eagle as a TD dance?: YES
This could very easily happen from an Eagle, but the I need it to happen from a Pats player. I believe David Givens and Rodney Harrison (not on a TD) both did this in Super Bowl 39.
Donald Trump tweets about the game O/U 1.5: OVER
Trump’s relationship has cooled with the Patriots but I still believe he’ll shoot off two tweets congratulating his “great friends.”
Brady’s age mentioned O/U 1.5 times: OVER
Brady being 40 will undoubtedly get mentioned early on and then again when they say something about a 40 year old QB winning the Super Bowl.
What will the gatorade color be during the gatorade bath? BLUE
This is a tough one. I’m going on the basis that the Pats are winning so I’ll go with blue jusssst over clear/water. (Another thing I thought of, why in the hell did the Eagles give Doug Peterson a gatorade bath in Week 1? That makes ZERO sense)
Gronk’s longest reception or Kyrie Irving points what is larger? Kyrie
I like Kyrie to go for 38 so I’ll take Uncle Drew.
Kyrie points and assists vs Patriots points: Kyrie
The Pats are gonna score quite a bit, but Kyrie is gonna torch the Blazers.
Super Bowl MVP: Amendola
Obviously, these awards go to QBs quite often and I feel like Brady is probably the pick. The Pats are likely going to be the winning team and I see Tommy Touchdown having a big game against this Eagles secondary. But, he’s the favorite so I wanna take the odds on Danny Amendola. He’s always coming up big in the playoffs and I see him having another awesome night.
Anyway, those are the fun bets. My locks are as follows.
Dynasty said O/U 1.5 times: OVER
Brady’s age mentioned O/U 1.5 times: OVER
Flapping like an Eagle TD Dance: YES
National Anthem: OVER 2 minutes
Belichick wears: BLUE
Pink wears Eagles gear: YES
Alex Guerrero mentioned O/U 1.5 times: OVER