Dear David Price,
When you CHOSE to sign here in December 2015, I was torn. Part of me was optimistic that the Red Sox found their “ace”, and you would be the cornerstone of the rotation for the next 7 years. The other part of me, the pessimist that remembered your uninspiring performances in MULTIPLE postseasons, thought that giving you $217 million dollars was a huge mistake. But, because no one likes negativity, I decided to go with optimism. I thought “Well, whatever happened in the past is the past, and I’m willing to give him a clean slate.” What followed in the 2016 season was an impressive 17-9 record, and 230 IP. What was not so impressive, was his 3.99 ERA, which is the very definition of mediocre. You then proceeded to pitch 3.1 innings in your only playoff start, and give up 5 ER. So, In other words, your regular season production went down in terms of ERA, and your postseason production stayed the same. Way to go.
In 2017, I already soured on you. You never endeared yourself to Red Sox fans, and you criticized the media for their harshness, although some would call it accuracy. It became painfully obvious that you did not have the spine to pitch in an environment like Boston. And even if you were a complete jerk who couldn’t pitch as well as he used to, I thought maybe you still had potential as a leader. Once again, I was wrong, and you proved yourself to be a failure in that department as well. Any slight criticism was met with what can only be described as a temper tantrum. Yelling at members of the media and making a disgusting spectacle on the team plane with Dennis Eckersley, who is a Hall of Fame pitcher, something you are not. You couldn’t even start at the end of the year and the postseason, you were a bullpen pitcher. That move was so blatantly transparent, simply made because you are reduced to a steaming pile of Price in the postseason. Sure, you came off the DL, but if you’re getting 30 million, go start a frigging game would ya? You finished that season with a 3.38 ERA in 74 innings, congrats. In 6 postseason innings, you didn’t give up a single run, bringing your career postseason ERA to 5.03. Wow, you are so worth every last penny.
And now in 2018, you are 2-4 with a 5.11 ERA, and your Red Sox career is as follows: 25-16 which I will admit is good, but your ERA is 3.98, which is average. And your WHIP is 1.22 which is ok. Congratulations Dave, you are the okayest pitcher to be making 217 million dollars. Hooray baseball contracts!
Going back to your season this far, you recently had a “bout” with carpal tunnel, and now you are going to stop playing Fortnite and video games in general. Your carpal tunnel was so bad, you didn’t even need a cortisone shot (which is common), or surgery, or even a stint on the DL. No, your wrist was so painful and inflamed that you just needed a skip in the rotation against a team that beat you like a rented mule earlier in the year. Well I’ll tell you what Dave, you are a warrior, your tremendous will and steely resolve is second to none. If I or any of us unworthy fans look up courage in the dictionary, there is a picture of you playing Fortnite with your dog Astro sitting on your lap. Forget Bumgarner and Scherzer, I want the ball in Price’s hand in a must-win game.
Give me a damn break, David Price is a scourge, a plague, a parasite on the Boston Red Sox, and I want him gone. I hope that somehow he reads this and admits to himself what a colossal underachiever and coward he is. Oh you have a Cy Young, that’s nice. Good for you, so does R.A. Dickey.. Where is your World Series ring? Where is your postseason moment when you stepped up and helped any of your teams live to see another day? Where is your character and leadership? WE GET MORE LEADERSHIP FROM JOE F-ING KELLY THAN WE GET FROM YOU! Get out of Boston, either by opt out or trade, and go pitch in a nice environment where you don’t have to worry about the postseason, like Cincinnati or San Diego.